flashes of my past

about 10 years ago i was a very angry little person
i was scrappy - would throw down with anyone, anytime, anywhere
then, over time, i changed
i stopped acting out my anger
i harnessed it
i stopped getting into fights
stopped throwing things when i got angry
and i thought i was going to be ok forever
if that's the case then why am i feeling those urges again?
i want to gouge eyeballs out with my fingernails
want to pulverize a face
want to break a nose
want to kick in a head
and all these feelings are scaring me
as if i don't have enough going on right now
all i need is for violent urges to return
great
at least it's all focused on one person, huh?