why?

why can't i stop my hands from shaking?
why do i still feel sick to my stomach?
why do i have to keep fighting back the tears?
why can't i be ok?
am i just a fucking psycho or am i justified?
i feel a bit crazy.
i don't know.
i just wish i was ok.
wish my head wasn't so full.
wish i couldn't feel the pain.
god i wish i hadn't quit smoking at times like this.