Randomness....

So...
Last week I got this e-mail (as part of a group e-mail) from a former friend (a girl I haven't talked to in nearly 8 months):

Hi everyone,

I had my little boy on 12/15.  Wednesday was my first day back.
Here is a picture of Alex.  He looks just like his dad with my nose.

And, I thought about it over the weekend and decided to respond today with:

Not sure if you meant to send this to me or if I just happen to still be
on your distribution list and you haven't taken my name off of it yet.

At any rate, congrats on the baby & hope all is well with you and your
new family.

To which she responded:

Actually, I did send it to you on purpose.  I was wondering if you might
respond.  I have really missed our friendship and have no idea what
happened.  That last I heard from you was that you couldn't make the
wedding due to a medical procedure.

To which I responded:

O.k.
So why not e-mail me with saying that rather than trying to bait me
with your announcement about your son to see if I'd respond to you? 
Were you baiting everyone else on that distribution list to see if they'd
respond to you as well or was I just thrown in there for good measure? 
So far as I've been concerned our friendship was over - you were
doing your own thing and so was I.  You started cutting me out of your
life a while ago and that's o.k. if that's the way you wanted it but that
would mean that I'd, in turn, cut you out of mine.  Why chase a
friendship if the other person doesn't seem to be interested anymore?

I did have to have a medical procedure done which made it impossible
to come to your wedding.  And, if I recall correctly, I did send you
wedding gifts and we even spoke after you'd received them - and
you sent me the link to look at your wedding photos.  After that the
e-mails and phone calls on both of our sides (because I'm not going to
say it was just you) dwindled until I didn't hear from you again so I
just figured it was the final "nail in the coffin" so to speak seeing as
how you'd already distanced yourself from me up to that time.  I
just really thought that it sucked seeing as how I was (and still am)
going through some medical issues and you couldn't be bothered to
check in to even see how my procedure had gone.  Yes, it was your
wedding and I certainly wouldn't have expected for you to call me
or e-mail me immediately thereafter - - - but something
sometime...yeah, you could say I'd have expected that out of
someone who considered themselves my friend. 

I think it's also fair to point out that, though I did receive an
 invitation to your bridal shower, I did not receive one to your baby
shower.  That, to me, was another clear indicator that you had no
need for our friendship in your life anymore.  And, to take it a step
further, you've moved since you got married, haven't you?  Did I
ever receive a "new address" notice?  No.  So, you have to admit
that with all of these things not happening that I'd be inclined to
think that you really wanted nothing more to do with me.

I'm sure a lot has happened in both of our lives in the past how
ever many months it's been.  And have there been times I've
thought "I wish I could call (insert name) !" - sure there were. 
But at the same time, I figured that our friendship was dead
and that if you weren't calling me I certainly wasn't going to call
you.  Besides, let's be honest, after a certain amount of time
passes without talking to someone - even if you're unsure of the
status of the relationship - talking can be awkward. 

Net:
I responded to your e-mail because I figured you'd included me
by mistake and wanted to be sure you didn't repeat that mistake
in the future as it was apparent that we were no longer were
friends.  I do wish you and your family well and I do hope that you
are happy.  What I don't understand is that, if you missed our
friendship so much and wanted to talk, why haven't I heard from
you and, when I did, it was through a "baiting" tactic rather than
just getting to the heart of the matter and saying "Hey, I miss
you and don't have a clue what happened to our friendship.  We
should talk." or something along those lines?  I really have no idea
what you want, (insert name), but I wish you'd just come out and
say it rather than beating around the bush. 

To which she responded:

I called and left messages and sent e-mails asking how everything
went after the procedure and go no responses.  I finally got to a
point where I gave up because it seemed that you were no longer
interested in staying friends.  I miss you a lot Liz.  There have been
so many times I wish I could have called you as well.    I did not
have Shelley send an invite to the baby shower because I had
gotten the impression that you were no longer wanting to hear from
me.  As for change of address, I didn't get many sent out before
Alex was born.

Any distancing I had done to you was unintentional.  I had been
going through a lot at work and personally and still am.  When I am
times of extreme stress, I tend to pull away from things and hide.
I didn't realize how much I had been doing that until recently and I
am truly sorry.  You are not the only one that has pointed this out
to me.

What is going on with you medically?  I am and have been concerned
about you all this time.   I am care about you and still love you very
much.  If I didn't I would never have sent you the picture as a way to
find some contact.

What I want?  I would like to work on repairing our friendship.  I
miss you.  You are a great person and a great friend.  I know things
have changed between us and may never be the same but I would like
to try to repair our friendship if possible.   I know it will take an effort
on both our parts and I am willing to try.  I will also understand if you
choose not to.

I miss you and our friendship more than I could ever explain.  I am
sorry that I baited you with the e-mail of Alex's birth.

To which I responded:

So what exactly is the "trigger" that's made you decide to try to get
me to respond to you?  I mean, it's been nearly 8 months since you got
married - that's a long time.  To have you suddenly decide to take
action on a friendship you were missing...something that you've let go
for that long...it seems odd to me so excuse me if I'm a bit leery about
the "why" here.

As to what you'd been going through at work and personally.  Am I not
the one (or at least one of the ones) you'd talk to during those times?
Granted, what do I know, but on the personal front you've got your man
and your baby - so how bad can it be?  But maybe if you and I were
still friends I'd already know the answer to that question - or maybe I
wouldn't if you've been shutting everyone out.  If you'd really needed
me then I would've been there for you and I would've done what I
could've to help - even if it was just moral support.

My medical issues are not something I care to talk about at this point.
The last thing I need to be doing is the "woe to me" - particularly to
someone I haven't spoken to in nearly 8 months.  No offense, but
that's just how I feel about it.

As to working to repair our friendship - I really don't know.  I mean,
I am wondering "why now?" and am trying to figure out why the heck
you'd need my friendship.  You have your life in Texas, a good husband,
a son and a ton of friends - so what the heck do you need me so bad
for...I've been totally replaceable for the past 8 months, right?

I have a lot going on in my life right now - both personally and
professionally - and I really just don't know that I need the added
stress of trying to rebuild a friendship right now.  At least not without
knowing what exactly I'm getting myself into and why.  I have missed
your friendship as well - but I don't know if I can put myself out there
again allowing for the possibility of being hurt should I open up again to
let you in.  Also, I do appreciate that you apologized for baiting me with
Alex's birth...but he's really the one who deserves the apology - not me.

And that's where it stands as of right now.
She didn't respond before I left work and who knows if she will at all.
I really don't care too terribly much whether or not we rekindle this friendship...when I cut someone off it's pretty cut & dry for me and I can completely disconnect myself from them.
Sure, it doesn't hurt to have friends...but I'm just SO angry at her for a number of reasons and I REALLY don't like that she felt the need to "bait" me to try to re-open the line of communication. And I really want to know WHY the hell she's suddenly so interested in rekindling this so-called friendship.
To most I probably seem harsh and mean in my responses to this girl...but the reality is that I'm being honest with her about my feelings since she's SO interested in trying to be my friend again.
UGH.
And so that's how my day's gone....