What do you do when your parents have made a mess of your family tree? How do you connect the dots? Can they even be connected?
The story is this.
Mom’s on her 2nd husband. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage (both grown) and mom has me from her 1st marriage. Together they made Matt, who grew up with me.
Donnie’s on his 3rd wife. She has one kid from a previous marriage (a little older than me). Together they made Jennifer, whom I’ve met once.
Donnie’s 2nd marriage resulted in Bryan, who I’ve only e-mailed with but never spoken to or met. Bryan just became a husband & daddy recently. Also, he has a brother, Bobby, that was the product of his mom’s 2nd marriage.
We are so disjointed.
I’m the only common link between Jennifer and Bryan. They met a long time ago but Jennifer doesn’t remember and Bryan doesn’t care to have that ever happen again though Jennifer would like to get in touch with him.
When Bryan’s baby was born I started to write a letter to Donnie & Jennifer to let them know. But I stopped myself. It’s not my place not to mention that I don’t want the two of them bothering Bryan. Also, I don’t want to upset Bryan by telling his information to people he doesn’t acknowledge exists.
Everyone keeps telling me to just forget Jennifer and Bryan. My mother is NOT supportive of me getting in touch with any of them. Matt and I haven’t talked about it but I think we should one day. My meeting with Jennifer has discouraged me to an extent because she didn’t seem to care. It makes me wonder if Bryan will should we ever meet. His new wife has kept me somewhat in the loop of their universe – sending me an invitation to the baby shower, sending me a thank you note for the wedding/baby gifts I sent and, recently, sending me a picture of the baby and the birth announcement. I wrote them a card/letter back – giving them all of my information – but haven’t heard anything back as of yet.
Why do I seem to be the only one with a hole in me? Why don’t they care as much as I do? Am I just stupid to hope that they’d be happy to find a sibling? Granted, I knew about both of them WAY before either of them knew about me or about one another. Bryan only found out a few years back. I believe the same goes for Jennifer. I know Jennifer reacted very violently when she found out. She’s o.k. about it at this point, but her initial reaction wasn’t good. I’m not really sure how Bryan reacted. Don’t know if I ever will. I just have to wonder, of the three of us, am I the only one who has to change the channel when the “reunion” shows come on because it makes me cry?
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