Brave Face Crumbling

O.k.
I'll admit it.
I can be a BIG wuss.
Like right now.
I've had my "brave face" on all week - making like my little procedure today is no big deal.
But you know what?
I'm frickin SCARED to death !
Granted, my AUNT didn't help !
She called last night to inform me that I'll be awake and aware during the whole thing but that I shouldn't worry because they'll give me the ruffies and make me FORGET it all !
NOT HELPFUL !
The whole issue for me is that regardless of remembering it or not I don't want to have to go THROUGH the trauma.
PERIOD !
So I got all freaked out last night thanks to her.
And today I googled some more info about the procedure and now I'm TOTALLY freaked !
NOT GOOD ! ! ! ! ! !
J will be leaving work in the next hour or 2 (hopefully), will come get me from work and we're going to go kills some time until my appointment. He'll most likely be a bit on the hungry side - so I figure I can watch him eat his lunch and we can go buy a gift for the kid who's birthday party we're supposed to be going to tomorrow.
He'll keep me calm which is good.
Picking up that phone last night was NOT a good thing. I have caller ID for such reasons ! But I thought maybe it was one of my cousins so I picked the bloody thing up.
My Bad.
Anyway.
This has been the WORST fucking week of my LIFE and I can only expect today to be a perfectly wretched end to a perfectly horrid week !
First there was the new note on Monday.
Then drama at the office on Tuesday.
A verbal throwdown with the bitch across the street on Wednesday.
Home drama last night on top of my aunt starting trouble !
And now we've arrived and Friday.
What shall today bring???
Oh.
That's right.
Office drama from the start followed by a procedure I DO NOT WANT where they will stick me with needles, shove crap down my throat (with my supposed cooperation), drug me so I'll forget and then pat me on the tush and send me home ! ! ! ! ! !
AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH ! ! ! !

There's my little sulk/freak out for this morning.
I don't know how out of it I'll be after this thing today, so I'll have to post an update possibly tomorrow (if I REMEMBER that is ! ! ! !).